I have this strong urge to cry. That means I'm tired and sick of almost everything in life. I'm blessed, I already have enough good things happening in my life, I'm good enough. How is it true when I have to continuously repeat this to myself?

I just want to wake up someday and go back to SSS, go back to that bunch that knows me and to where I truly belong. I miss being me so much guys it's crazy.

I have no where else to rant because apparently ranting elsewhere will get me unwanted attention wrong perception.

& people around me have enough burden and responsibility to shoulder so I'm in no position to tell them my problems.

I guess I just have to keep smiling, keep pretending that everything is fine, keep telling myself I'm good enough...and hope one day I truly think so.

I want a break.
I want a change of life.
I want the past.
I want familiarity and comfortability

But that's not ever going to happen. Nothing's changing.