Nothing is going well for me , everything seems wrong. I'm getting so emotional and sensitive these days and i feel so fuckedup everything , i hate myself , i hate my fucked up life.

Lost my dearest kin , my dearest grandpa. And through this , i get to see the true colours of many fuckers and that fucking hospital , i curse you all to die and burn in hell. Losing him is like losing my everything .

I have no motivations to study , my grades are dropping and i don't know how to get back to how it used to be .

My story updates , one getaway from problems for me but now it's my another problem. I don't remember what i want to write about and i don't know where all my inspirations went to , it's all gone.  And i don't wanna disappoint my subscribers again saying i'm going to update late . I promised to update early but my grandfather passed away . And wow my ff got deleted and so did all my subscribers and comment . oh yeah fuck my life.

I feel so lonely , so paranoid , so emotional , so unfair , so broken , so tired , so fucked up , so depressed. I don't know who to trust and who to tell . It's so tiring for me to lie to myself everyday that i'm happy and yet i cry myself to sleep or just cry suddenly , it's so tiring . I don't know what to do anymore , i feel like this is my lowest point of life. I've never felt like this before , this pain is killing me and it's too much . My life is miserable , i hate myself lol .