Sorry .

Hey yo sup annyeong all my dearest , i haven't been updating my blog for a long time i'm sorry pardon me okay . I haven't been free these few days and i have no pictures with me completely -sad- . Yez my birthday celebration was a very successful one except that we didn't had any pictures cause i was too busy enjoying while ... i don't know what the others were doing . Okay so to sum up it was an awesome party yez !

So yez my dear readers i'm here to actually rant about what happen these few days and i think i really can't hold in my emotions anymore fuck life is not loving me now . And from here , it's a fucking long friendship post so it's up to you to read or not .

Firstly , i have many problems with my 2h6clique now . Maybe some of them already realized and tho we are acting like everything is okay , i don't feel secure . This clique ain't what we used to be already . I know my expectations for friends may be too high and maybe people would h8 me for my attitude but this is ME . You have to ACCEPT or REJECT . Because A left , we are having some problems coping with our clique . I don't know what to do and i don't feel like handling this situation , it's tiring for me , yez . But i still love you girls a lot , really .

Secondly , I need to really thank god or anything for letting my old clique piece back , I'm back with bbgstan , bbgnio and bbgloh . To be frank , i thought about what i want today myself , being emotional all alone #foreveralone . I suddenly remembered that me , who i guess only my old clique knows . I know yez i'm still funny and talkative but the old me was more than that , i used to be emotional but HAPPY all the while cause my loved ones love me , accept me and would never backstab me . In my this 2 years of life , i experienced a lot of betrayals and people who backstabs me , this is what i didn't had 2 years ago .

2 years ago :
I'm always noisy and funny in class but there's also times when i will get really angry and just curse anyone who comes in my way . I would also really do stupid things with my clique , okay like the malays bag incident and yez that indian pundeh . I loved life so much back then tho i always complained but everything was in pace , it's like i always have my girls with me and even if they are not , my other cliques are there and i would never feel alone or bad , i'm always the happy me . And for that i need to say i miss ChongAn , Justin , Ayush , Syahiran , YIXUN , ANISH , SAIYONG , Huiwen , Yinyi , Yanyu , Alsacoff , PengTing , Jiayu and others in 6i . 2 years have past , i know everything should be kept as memories and i should move on but how i wish this friendship would stay , not only because i miss these people but also because i want my old me back .

2 years later :
I'm noisy and funny but i no longer would attitude people ALWAYS like how i used to be and i seems to be always calm and cautious . I'm always thinking what are the consequences of doing what and what that i'm so sick of this me . It's like when i dump something on the floor , i would think if someone walk pass and fall on my wrapper and *long-story* , but it's just a small thing right ? Y fret and get so paranoid likea bitch ? And now , i don't have one girlie that would give up everything for me in this school , non . No one would really care about how i feel , would actually realize what i want . When i used to have A , tho she's a fucken bitch who attitudes me like fuck , she understands me a lil and would always be by my side. But now , i have my paikas i know but i don't have my bestie in paikas and i don't know , i don't know why i just don't feel secure and everything . I can't speak and do like i used to cause some fucken lame people would say i'm trying to find trouble when i'm just fooling around and people would talk behind my back and i'm a human , i ignore but it hurts , yez it do . But what2do ? Yes so somehow i learned not to take any friendship too seriously cause till now , non seems like they would stay till the end with me .

But yes now a real dedication . In all these years , for how i change and stuffs , the girl who stood with me is NG.AI.SHU . Tho at times she would hurt me -physically!- , i still know she do cherish our friendship . Whenever i need someone , i would always find her and she would always not reject tho she may readily reject me at first for joke's sake but at last she is always there for me . I know many of my friends or even girlies would talk about me behind my back but i believe this bitch won't , i believe she would just scold me in my face like she ALWAYS do . Thank you szb , for always guiding me and always taking care of me , you fill up my life . You will always be my priority ng ah shu . xoxoxo.

Yes but i would also thank my BBG clique for always being there for me = Bbgnio , bbgloh , bbgtan & bbgning , i don't know how life would be without you girls , serious . You girls better promise you won't throw me away again and better not fade or anything :*

Of course paikas , i still hope everything would go well for us and also hope i can find someone i can really open up to in this clique . I also hope A would come back soon , i miss her so much that i can die serious. ):